Choose Your Own ‘Hills’ Adventure With 4 Fake Speidi Headlines!

The revolving door of Speidi rumors is totally kicking our butts. In terms of reporting, there’s simply TOO MUCH to sift through. From separations to cheating accusations to new TV shows to Twitter wars, we can’t keep up. So, since today’s Mr. and Mrs. Pratt goss reached a ridiculous level of absurdity (Spencer launched a paparazzi agency while Heidi and Cougar Zank pitched their love story for $30,000), we decided to take a crack at stirring the pot (that’s something we know how to do quite well!) and came up with our own news stories. Without further adieu, here are four sorta plausible (but totally pretend) Speidi headlines!

Headline: Original Heidi Returns!
Story: Her new love, Cougar Zank, was missing the old Heidi so he convinced her to reverse her many surgeries. No more Hs for Heidi, but Cs for Cougar will certainly do!

Headline: Spencer Admits He Was Behind Jeremy London Kidnapping
Story: Spencer, reminded of Heidi’s infatuation with a “Party Of Five” poster, suspected she was fooling around behind his back with Jeremy London and hired a group of guys to inject him with truth serum.

Headline: Heidi Sues Allie Lutz
Story: Heidi wanted everyone to know that there will never be another female “Hills” villain like her, so she took the wannabe to court for $4,000. (Four is Heidi’s favorite number.)

Headline: Spencer Steals Heidi’s Wedding Ring
Story:
Mr. Pratt ran into Heidi’s former manager and psychic, Aiden, who told him that the pathway to [enter some mythical place here] is actually inside Heidi’s wedding ring (which it turns out, is a crystal and not a diamond).

+ What do you think of our made-up headlines? Are any of them actually believable? Sound off!