It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to recognize that Spencer’s healing crystals aren't working. (Maybe his brain waves are too jammed with ... your guess is as good as ours!) After watching his veins nearly burst through his forehead on tonight’s episode of "The Hills," we decided that he needs to ditch the rocks and engage in these 5 helpful activities -- fast:
1. HUGS
Not a squeeze from a creepy street performer, but a good tight physical connection with Heidi … or Stephanie, or anyone. You can say a lot with a wordless embrace (as opposed to screaming at the top of your lungs).
2. EXERCISE
No more yoga and meditation nonsense. We’re talking about a heart-pumping spin class that helps him sweat out all that angry energy, or a high-intensity boxing session where he can channel his aggression (instead of going postal on Holly). Let's get Spence into a musty locker room that’s brimming with guys over the age of 7.
3. ANTIOXIDANTS
Life is getting pretty toxic for Spencer. He's certainly lost weight, but since we haven’t seen any photos of him hitting the treadmill lately, we have to assume he’s not getting enough sleep and depriving his body of essential nutrients. Someone pour the kid a green tea.
4. BROMANCE
In the beginning of Episode 4, Heidi said that Spencer really missed Brody, and we think she had a point -- they need to spend some quality time together. Brody needs to be patient, stop telling Spencer that he's lost his mind (even though, well ... ) and try to find a way to get back on track with his boy.
5. THERAPY
First of all, someone with an accredited degree needs to diagnose Spencer. Is he depressed? Iron deficient? Suffering from the side effects of an experimental hair growth accelerator? Someone needs to figure that sh** out. After that, he can effectively work with a doctor and eventually restore his broken relationships.