We've all become (embarrassingly) obsessed with "J.Shoring" ourselves (even Ashton Kutcher gave it a whirl) -- and really, why should anyone stop? In the past, we provided you with a roundup of Pauly D-approved stores and tips on perfecting your own personal pouf. We even brought you the 'Jersey Shore Yourself' arcade game of awesomeness. Well, now that the casties are soaking up the sun in South Beach, we think it's time for you to put the finishing touches on this standout summer look. Start scraping up some change, 'cuz there are quite a few items you can't go without if you wanna get the kind of attention Snooki and "The Situation" revel in each day.
Ed Hardy Swimwear
You can't hit up the beach (or the tanning salon) without donning this go-to label, the status quo for any die-hard fist-pumper.
Bonus Points: Make it extra flashy by rolling up a matching Hardy towel under your arm.
Temporary Tattoos
Since we shouldn't really tell you to throw caution to the wind and sign up for a serious inking sesh (that would just be too irresponsible of us), we figure the safest bet is getting a temporary tat.
Bonus Points: You can't just get any ol' design. Ladies who get faux-stamped on their lower back and dudes who have their obliques scribed with dragons (or automobile manufacturers) are extra fresh in our book!
Winebaggy (Jakob Wagner's pictured above)
While this carrier was designed to hold wine for the the yuppy summer picnic-goer, that means nothing to us. (Hey, trash bags were intended to hold garbage, not clothing!)
Bonus Points: Fill this bad boy up with as much RonRon Juice as you can get your hands on.
Red Cup
These, of course, complement the wine bag. If you don't want to test the waters (it's illegal to drink on most beaches) just carry one empty so people think you've got a keg back at the beach house.
Bonus Points: You can always use this container during a feud -- say, to intimidate someone by crushing it in your bare hand!
Styling Glue
This one is primarily for the fellas. You don't ever want to get caught by the ocean with limp junk hair!
Bonus Points: If you can craft your mane to stand up straight like Pauly's, then you're a superstar as far as we're concerned. (We recommend Joico's Ice Spiker, pictured above.)
Stunna Shades
Ever seen the cast outside without their oversize sunglasses on? They're pretty essential for beach days (and, er, nights).
Bonus Points: Find a pair of knockoffs and glue on your own Swarovski crystals! Triple points if the lenses are too dark to actually see through.