During last week's Jersey Shore: After Hours special, Mike ‘The Situation’ went on record saying he recently joined the Mile High Club. My first reaction was, “Lucky bastard.”
My second reaction was, “How the hell did he pull that off?” I ask because I’ve always thought that the Mile High Club was kind of like the Bigfoot of hooking up. Many claim it exists, but few can produce hard, concrete evidence.
In theory, I think it would be a great way to spend a flight. Especially considering that the in-flight movies are usually pretty lame. But I also think that in order to pull it off, you’d have to be a midget contortionist.
For the most part, commercial airline lavatories are tiny. Even if you're flying solo in there, you have to squeeze yourself in just to squeeze one out. Is it even possible for two people to fit into an airline bathroom?
And let’s say you somehow managed to overcome the logistical problems of joining the Mile High Club, wouldn’t you still have to overcome the acoustics problem? Especially in this day-and-age, could you really get away with shouting out ‘Oh God, Oh my God, Oh God’ from inside the bathroom without someone suspecting you might be a terrorist?
The other question is, how do you initiate the Mile High romp? Do you offer her your pack of free airline peanuts? Do you ask if she wants to take a romantic stroll past aisle seats G and L?
I think that as a public service, Mike ‘The Situation’ should film a ‘How to Join the Mile High Club’ video. They can show it right after the ‘How to Use Your Seat Cushion as a Flotation Device’ video. Wouldn't you watch?