Throughout this season of Styl'D, the junior assistants will be watching each episode and blogging about their reactions. Below, check out Brett's first post...
My whole life, I've always wanted something more than what was right in front of me. Right now, I'm sitting at a cafe in Beverly Hills, drinking a cup of coffee I can't afford. I am surrounded by the smell of amazing food and pricey men's cologne, as well as the clicking of overpriced heals. If I was sitting with a laptop at a coffee shop at home in Kansas, people would be looking at me like I was nuts. Not here though. In this city, I'm just another face in the crowd, another one of L.A.’s finest who strolls around with no one really knowing who "me" is. Not knowing the dump I live in, what kind of car I drive or how much money is in my bank account... (Well, I guess I just completely f!?ked myself on that one, didn't I? Ha!
So now you all know that I live in a dump, drive an old Jetta and have NO money in my bank account -- but I could not be happier (besides the fact that my phone keeps ringing with UNKNOWN numbers, which for the people that don't know ... that means BILL COLLECTOR). I've been working for the one and only MARGARET MALDONADO AGENCY as a Jr. Assistant! So many people would kill for this job.
It's so crazy watching myself on television, seeing the mistakes that I made and things that, if I had a second chance, I would totally do over. I mean, maybe I'm crazy, but I do not necessarily regret taking the job with Asher Book. People make mistakes in life, and really, everything happens for a reason. I took this job with Asher for a reason. At least I messed up the first day on the job rather than the last, right?
The thing that kills me is watching the people I thought I was close to and seeing their actions. I trusted Janna a lot, and I now see that she's really doing everything she can to get me out of this program. Do you all see that, or am I crazy? I'm not blaming Janna for the decision that I made to take the job, but I'm saying that as a friend (a true friend) I would NEVER tell anyone to do something that I knew would jeopardize their career. Anyway, I'm not going to dwell on this because I can't. I need to be positive and just hope for the best.
Look, I make mistakes, I know that I am crazy and hard to handle here and there, but right now on the show ... this is me at my worst. If you want to give up on me after one mistake, then you really don't deserve to see me grow and sure as hell don't deserve to see me at my best!
And on that note, I cannot write anymore.
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