Listen up, boys and ghouls. Halloween's almost here, which means it's time to figure out your last-minute costumes before all the good (read: flimsy, offensive) ones are sold out. And since we can't all afford to shop at Ricky's (plus some of us are already over the whole crotch-length dress thing), we thought we'd show you how to pull off your own DIY costumes, inspired by your friends -- and frenemies -- on The City! Starting with:
WHITNEY PORT
How to do it: Buy a long blonde wig and medium-length stilts. Paint your fingernails turquoise. Nod enthusiastically when others speak, even if it's terrible advice. Bring a date who is Australian, orange or emotionally unavailable. Avoid looking directly into Kelly Cutrone's eyes. Wear florals, little black dresses and always, always three-inch heels.
Props: Sketchpad, lipstick from Whit's personal line.
OLIVIA PALERMO
How to do it: Get thee to a Frederic Fekkai salon, then avoid any/all activities that might threaten to disturb your gorgeous, "Who, me? I just woke up looking like this" waves. Smell expensive. Read Elle. Laugh like Tinkerbell. Remind everyone you're sort of a big deal by using words like "social," "deb," "champy" and "toodles." Say outrageous things (like "f-- this, I'm out of here") then beam angelically til all is forgiven. Smile! You're Olivia. You're dazzling.
Props: Recession-proof bling, dog named after menial laborer.
KELLY CUTRONE
How to do it: Step 1) Throw on your fave all-black ensemble and dye your hair to match. Step 2) Borrow a friend's Ford. Step 3) Perfect the art of tough love! Start off with inappropriately loud critiques (i.e. "I've been doing this 22 years and you've been doing this, like, FIVE minutes!"), then temper them down with impossible-to-resist phrases like "I'm your loyal bitch." Step 4) Stop blinking. (It's a sign of weakness.)
Props: Pale makeup, a cowering/suckup-y assistant, Optional: a hands-free, don't-mess-with-me headset.
+ Got any ideas for pulling off the ultimate Erin Kaplan or Roxy Olin Halloween getup? Tell us in the comments! Plus, let us know if you have any tips (serious or otherwise) for going as Kelly, Whitney or Olivia this year.