CJ may not have much by way of game, but he's got the thick, wavy hair, Mario Lopez dimples and chiseled cheekbones that women go crazy for. Which is why, despite his sorry dinner convo (dude used the words "donkey show," made helicopter noises and talked about his pee pee!), we thought he'd have poor, helpless Jacqueline swooning by dessert. Instead, girl surprised us (and threw CJ for a loop) by turning around and dumping him. And to borrow a few words from Heartthrob himself, the whole thing was "muy funny, yo."
So what's her deal? Well, correct us if we're (slightly) overreaching, but we think Jacqueline may be a barmaid by day, feminist hero by night. And the way we see it, this modern-day Susan B. Anthony never had any intention of getting in CJ's pantalones.
Instead of jumping at the chance to see the Real World house -- or, better yet, help Christian christen it -- Jacqueline seemed horrified by all the attention/cameras/loose morals. And, unlike Joey's conquests (who seemed to dig the whole fornicating-on-camera thing), Jacqueline wasn't about to let herself become just another notch in the (communal) bedpost.
A strong, single gal who came of age at the height of all that Spice Girls feminonsense, Jacqueline refused to lose her identity in CJ's washboard abs. And to express our admiration and thanks (for sparing us the gratuitous night-vision shot of two kids boning), we can think of no better tribute to Jacqueline than these famous (albeit slightly reworded) lines:
Oh, somewhere in this Spring Break land the sun is shining bright
The techno music's playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light
And somewhere Bronne's laughing, and somewhere Emilee and Ayiiia shout
But there is no joy in Real World: Cancun -- mighty CJ has struck out
This one's for you, Jacqueline.
