We like Evan. We've always liked him. Ever since the first time we met him, on Fresh Meat, when he was partners with Coral (and refused to quit even though he had a hernia the size of a watermelon on his crotch), we've found his freckly, sarcastic presence to be inexplicably reassuring. And so has everyone else -- until now.
Somehow, despite being the most hilarious man alive, Evan's managed to simultaneously alienate everyone in the game -- and convince them that he's the one pulling all the strings. (Hey, it's The Duel, it doesn't have to make sense.) And now that he's faced elimination twice in a row, we gotta ask: when is it gonna stop?
Newsflash, people: Evan's not the only person trying to wheel and deal in this game. (Fact: he turned on Paula, but only cuz she sold him out first!)
And we can't really blame him for wanting to stick it to Davis and Nehemiah. The former had a chip on his shoulder the size of, well, a giant crotch hernia and the latter was awfully self-righteous for a dude who spent his free time plagiarizing the Dalai Lama (and grinding up on Kim's face).
So, listen up, Challengers. Stop sending Evan into The Duel. Stop referring to him as "The Godfather." And stop pretending he's the shadiest guy out there. Trust us -- if you think Evan's sneaky and underhanded, you don't wanna know what we'll do if you take him (and his amazing one-liners) away.
Capisce?