A Note From Steve-O: ‘I Don’t Want To Be That **** I Used To Be’

Yesterday we showed you a video clip from MTV News interview with ex-Jackass and recovering addict/alcoholic, Steve-O. His struggle to get/stay clean and sober was documented on camera (Steve-O: Demise and Rise premieres Sunday at 10pm), but he’s not putting the story out there to be some sort of celebrity inspiration — it’s more like a preemptive strike against reverting back to the a-hole he used to be.

Read Steve’s note below for some insight on where he once was, and where he’s at now…

Hello Everyone,

Lasting for six weeks on Dancing With The Stars was hysterical, thanks so much for the tremendous amount of support that made that possible! I really learned a whole lot from that experience, and I can’t thank you all enough. Instead, I’m going to plop some extremely disturbing footage right here.

This documentary shows me in really bad shape. I watched it one time, when they first put it together, and had a very bad reaction to it. You’d think that seeing myself like that would really help me stay sober, but watching footage of me doing drugs just triggered insane urges to get loaded. I can’t watch it anymore, but everyone else in America can Sunday, May 3rd, at 10:00pm on MTV.

I was in a psychiatric ward when I first decided to really try to get sober, imagining that I could “do a lot of good in the world.” Over three months later, having stayed clean the whole time, I was in another psychiatric ward because I finally realized what an **** I had become. I’m not trying to stay sober today because I want to save the world, I’m doing it because I don’t want to be that **** I used to be. If swallowing, snorting, smoking, and huffing drugs and alcohol for years before realizing it turned me into an **** makes me “inspirational,” that’s pretty funny.

I wish I could say that I’ll stay sober for a long time, but I can’t, and that’s the sad truth.

I love you all,

Steve-O