Between the possibility of Spencer ending up in stitches, Heidi calling off another wedding and Audrina hooking up with Brody, tonight's season premiere of The Hills has got us salivating like Chloe over a pair of bacon-scented Heidiwood hot pants. That said, we're feelin' kinda moody about this being LC's last run, so we're making one final plea that she reconsider her decision to peace out:
Dearest Lauren Conrad,
Ever since we met you -- like, all the way back in them Laguna Beach days -- we've been so impressed by how you handle sticky sitches. Even when your sketchy bf, Jason Wahler, totes kissed his ex Jessica in clear view ('Fight the Slide' fashion show, anyone?), you were like, "Get the hells away from me!" instead of stabbing his eye with a spare stiletto. And we really admired that.
And what about the time you got all romantical with Brody and then found out two days later -- while you were in Paris -- that he'd started dating some lingerie model? You just picked your head up and rode off into the night on a hairy Frenchman's motorcycle. Did we ever tell you how proud of you we were?
And tonight we hear it's your birthday party -- and you totally allow Heids to cry all over it. Amazing.
Lauren, we heart you so much. We've watched you grow from awkward teenager to sophisticated young lady and we can't bear to think of not having a front row seat when you find the right guy, or have your first baby, or go to space.
We understand it's important for you to at least try to become a normal member of society, but if you think about it, living life without the cameras around will probably be really anti-climactic, and you might just end up missing us, too. And if that turns out to be the case, we'll welcome you back with open arms.
Forever Yours,
Remote Control