When we last saw Chris P., he was completely adrift -- in both the literal ("Kentucky's that way, homey!") and metaphorical sense of the word. Fortch, the bounced Bromance-er left us some valuable lessons to remember him by: a step-by-step guide to Getting Eliminated In 60-Minutes Or Less. Read up and find out how to go out like a pro.
1. Tell Brody the only reason you watch The Hills is to ogle his "hot!" ex-girlfriend, Lauren Conrad.
2. Make things worse by inadvertently calling said ex a "ho," then wrap up the already disastrous fireside chat by accidentally spilling an entire drink on your host. (Bro, NO you didn't!)
3. Tear up from the sheer humiliation of it all, and admit you just totally threw yourself under the bus.
4. Take advantage of your one-on-one time with Brody by drinking responsibly and really opening up downing Vodka shots till you can't see straight then falling down in the CAN-FESSIONAL.
5. Spend the entire next morning passed out in front of the van and throwing up into a leaky paper bag.
6. After (obvs) finding yourself in the bottom three, make Brody's decision a no-brainer by telling him you're way less real than your competition (a.k.a. the dude who refers to himself as a "cheetah.")
+ Think we were too harsh on Chris P.? Shame us in the comments! Or feel free to add to our list...