As soon as we heard Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt were hosting tomorrow’s live Engaged & Underaged wedding special (1pm ET), we got to thinking about the couple’s own plans to hop (re-hop?) down the aisle. So what will Speidi’s Wedding: Part Deux actually entail? Here’s a couple of our bestest/silliest/most wishful thinkingest ideas:
+ Theme: Fancypants. This over-the-top black-tie affair (catered by the winner of Top Chef: New York, photographed by Us Weekly and planned to perfection by Brent Bolthouse) will have all the snooty staples: giant, four-tiered wedding cake (think: too gorgeous to eat), long, flowy couture dresses for the girls, James Bond tuxes for the boys. Party favors to include designer giftbags (fuchsia-colored Balenciagas, natch) filled with a Tiffany crystal-framed glamor shot of the happy couple. Honeymoon to follow at Doug Reinhardt’s parent’s house in Cabo.
+ Theme: Make Believe. Heidi as Cinderella (think Carrie’s poofy, Vivienne Westwood gown from SATC) glides gracefully down the aisle in glass (Manolo Blahnik) slippers while her bridesmaids (decked out like Sleeping Beauty), gaze adoringly at her real-life Prince Charming. Maid-of-honor Holly Montag dazzles as a non-ogre vershe of Princess Fiona, everyone coexists happily ever after, AND, in true fairytale style, guests can eat all they want without ever gaining a pound.
+ Theme: Hollywood Hipster: All guests are required to dress in Rachel Zoe-approved attire (Think: oversized designer sunglasses + unflattering Bohemian-style sack dresses), look bored/indifferent at all times, steer clear of non-organic finger foods (really, just food in general) and suck in their cheeks a la Posh Spice. After-party at Area immediately following the reception.
+ Theme: Pirates of the Caribbean: When it’s time for the duo to exchange vows, Spencer as Captain Jack Sparrow looks into Heidi’s eyes and asks her to be his first-mate. Heidi, wearing low-cut peasant blouse (as made famous by Keira Knightley’s character) sobs happily, thereby causing Spencer to tear up and smear his expertly-applied pirate guyliner. Dinner goes smoothly (with exception of pre-dessert swordfight), but wedding is cut short when coat check girl discovers someone has pillaged the checked parcel room.
+ Think we left any out? Let us know how you imagine Spencer and Heidi’s wedding (i.e. traditional? environmentally-conscious? filmed live?), plus relive all the amazingness of their first go-round.