‘Tis the season to be coming up with unrealistic New Year’s Resolutions! And since the Hills crew has been crazy busy (what with wrapping up Season 4, planning a wedding and moving to NYC and all), we figured we’d give everyone a hand by coming up with their annual affirmations for them! Read on to find out what ch-ch-changes we wanna see, come January 1st.
Stephanie: Stop dating, breaking up with and re-dating boys who make you cry on near-daily basis. Which brings us to #2: Stop crying on a near-daily basis. (Hint: Next season, save the mascara-stained tears for Sweeps Week, for added “oomph.”)
Holly: Find new semi-permanent place of residence. We get that you’re new(ish) in town, but c’mon, it’s been like six months! Time to ditch the perma-houseguest routine, make like Mary Tyler Moore and get yourself a 1-bedroom. And a lopsided beret.
Heidi: Convince boyfriend/roommate/future husband to stop pissing off Everyone You Know. This includes — but is not limited to — your boss, your sister, your mother, your stepfather and your ex-best friend.
Spencer: Get back on Stalker Mom’s good side by showing her how thoughtful/kind/considerate you are. If that fails, keep childish name-calling to a minimum.
Lauren: Get back together with Brody Jenner. Please? For us? Yeah, we know, you’re dating that actor dude and Brody’s playing house with a Playboy model, but c’mon, there’s totally still chemistry there! Bonus: You’d get to have plenty o’ wild girls nights (at Crown Bar, obvs) while he’s out looking for Bromance.
Whitney: Do NOT trust Olivia Palermo. Granted, we’ve only seen her for, like, two secs, but our mom taught us to be wary of anyone whose natural facial expression is a cross between a smirk and a glare. Also? If she had a MySpace mood, it would be “Conniving.”
Lo: With Whit out of the picture, it’s time to steal her place as Lauren’s most trusted go-to girl! Cement your status as LC’s sidekick by getting a job with Kelly Cutrone (hey, you’re stylish, it could happen) and spending your days folding jeans and nodding sympathetically while Lauren thinks out loud.
Audrina: Find out whether Justin’s serious about wanting to commit. We heart grand romantic gestures, but trust us: saliva-covered promise rings and an extra toothbrush in your bathroom do not a relationship make.
Justin Bobby: Start wearing your thick, black-rimmed glasses 24/7. They make you look so brainy you could belch profusely, wear your pants inside-out and ride your Harley (backwards) into a flock of sleazies (while screaming “Hall Pass!”) and still pass yourself off as your high school valedictorian.
+ Anything we missed? Let us know your New Year’s Resolutions for the Hills casties! Plus, feel free to share your own rezzies. (Who knows, maybe putting it in writing will give you the motiviation to hit the gym for one whole week before retiring in shame!)