In honor of tonight's 2008 Video Music Awards, I've decided the time has come to give out some awards of my own. So I've compiled a list of Hills-superlatives based on tonight and tomorrow's episodes. Read on to find out who's worthy of a title.
First, the Most Unabashedly In Favor Of Private Planes award goes to....Stephanie Pratt! Congratulations, girl! You had us at hello "You broke up with a guy who has a jet??"
Next up, the award for Obligatory Awkward Birthday Scene goes to...Frankie Delgado. First Audrina's BBQ standoff, then Steph's Speidi-infested club bash. Now...a non-confrontation in Vegas! Way to keep the streak alive, dude.
And now, the one you've all been waiting for -- the award for Most Useless Mediator During A Dinner Fight. Well played, Doug! By our count, you tried to silence Brody at least four times with no luck. But hey, at least you were there! (Most of LC's ex-boyfriends don't come back until the "Look, here's my fiance!" party two seasons later).
Next up, the award for Best Ladies' Room Pep Talk goes to...Lauren Conrad and Stephanie Pratt. Congrats on pulling it together, Steph. But FYI, the next time some awful boy calls you a "psycho" -- and outs you as a former drug-user -- on national tv, it's totes understandable if you want to call it a night.
And in a completely unexpected twist, the Best Boyfriend Award goes to...Justin Bobby. Gone are the days of monosyllabic murmurs, burping contests and gratuitous shots of hair-in-face! Instead, the part of JB will now be played by Supportive Guy. Which means these days, he's complimenting Audrina on her heart, instead of her skintight jeans.
The award for Most Awkward Threesome? That one goes to Spencer Pratt, Heidi Montag and Holly Montag, for their moving portrayals of three people sharing a much-too-small apartment. Props to Spencer -- for screaming "HEY, ROOMIE!" as many times as humanly possible -- and to Heidi's older sis-- for pretending not to notice)].
And speaking of Heidi and Spencer, they're also the winners of a second award: Most Overdramatic TiVo-Related Car-Fight. Congratulations, you two! This is just like the time my old roommate screamed at me for accidentally deleting ONE episode of What Not To Wear (which, incidentally, is on twice a day, six times a week). Oh, and for the record? DVR is soooo much better.
And for the last award of the evening, we have Most Egregiously Overlooked. Needless to say, the award goes to the fabulous -- but completely nonexistent -- Whitney Port. Congratulations, Whitney! We missed you in Vegas! Hope you had a fab week on your own! Or, better still, with your new bicoastal boyfriend...