Dear Mr. Bentley,
Let me start out by saying that I think you're a very knowledgeable guy. You've got that whole debonair, sophisticated thing down. In fact, you're kinda like a modern-day Emily Post! (Assuming the 19th century Miss Manners was reincarnated as a highly attractive/charismatic black man).
Hell, if I were ever a contestant on some crazy, all-etiquette version of Who Wants to Be A Millionaire?, you know you'd be my landline. And the next time my buddies and I get into a heated debate over the correct number of prongs on a salad fork (or the do's and don'ts of curtsying) I'd happily defer to your judgment -- that is, assuming old Grandma Van der Woodsen was unavailable.
And while I readily acknowledge your infinite wisdom of all things preppy, I can't help but wonder if maybe, just maybe, you made a mistake by sending T-Jones home on this week's From G's to Gents.
Look, let's not beat around the bush, shall we? We all know T-Jones should've won the whole thing. I mean, let's face it, this guy has more personality than everyone else combined. Seriously, if it hadn't been for this week's elimination, I wouldn't have even remembered Shotta was on the show. And you gotta admit that, hands-down, T-Jones has the best sense of humor. (C'mon, singing "Amazing Grace" at the table last week before risking death to eat the Japanese Blowfish? Classic!)
Alright, sure, T-Jones has been known to slack off every now and then, or overindulge by throwing back a few too many cocktails. But he's got a great heart, a brand new outlook on life and a smile permanently tattooed onto his face. T-Jones is probably the jolliest fat man the world's ever seen -- with the possible exception of Santa. And that chub's living it up in a luxe North Pole crib...T-Jones is living out of his car!
So listen up, Fonzworth. I have nothing but respect for what you're trying to do here and all but I gotta ask: Can you bring my Pooh Bear back? Because I'm in the throes of some serious T-Jones withdrawal. Seriously, his unexpected exit left me with a hole in my heart (of the metaphorical -- but still painful! -- variety).
And I think we both know that's a void E6 can never fill...
Sincerely,
Show Girl