Anyone else still reeling over last night’s season-opener of My Super Sweet Stunna 16? Or am I the only one who spent the entire morning wishing I had a famous stepdad? (Preferably, the kind who says things like, “Why don’t I just give you my Amex black card?”). Anyhow, in addition to being super jealous of Quincy’s birthday bash/entire existence, I also learned a lot from yesterday’s episode. Among the more shocking revelations:

1) When he’s not teaching someone a lesson, Diddy can be sorta sweet (or at least not scary).
2) Bright red Sonic the Hedgehog sneaks are totally in!
3) Rapping is not hereditary… or at least not a trait that’s passed down from father to stepson.
4) Unfortunately for Quincy, “Stunna 16,” (like “fetch” in Mean Girls) is never going to happen.
5) When you’re Diddy’s stepson, you don’t even need to send out written invitations.
6) When you’re Diddy’s stepson, crazed teenage girls scream “Oh my God!! Quincy’s coming!!!” at the mere prospect of actually seeing you. Even though they already knew you’d be there, seeing as (a) it’s your party, (b) you invited them, and (c) you’re already friends.

And finally, my most important discovery of the evening:

7) Two cars are always better than one

Can’t get enough of Quincy? Watch below to see what happened at the Stunna afterparty. And remember: Your ‘91 Chrysler LeBaron has way more sentimental value than that shiny new Cadillac, anyway.