Though he had a really difficult time writing this, I think it’s one of the most honest things I’ve ever read…
Well, I’m not going to lie: I still can’t get through watching the whole episode without fast-forwarding through some of the parts. It’s really hard for me to sit back and watch how I look and act while under the influence. But in a sense, I feel it is good “additional” therapy for me.
During parts of the show, a few of the roommates hinted that “something” must have set me off. I’m a man, and ultimately, I make the final call on what I choose to do or not do, so I will NOT make any excuses for my behavior and what happened. I will admit that with the mixture of being out of my element, in this lockdown environment, and the recent fight I had with Brianna, it all started to chip away at me. In the past, when I felt I couldn’t deal with everyday pressures, I usually turned to alcohol.
You can see from Episodes 1-4 that my aggressions and aggravations were building, and on Episode 4, it just all spilled over into one huge BOMB!
When I saw the episode, it was almost like watching a scene from The Incredible Hulk. When I’m sober, I act and even look different. I’m a totally different person — a mean Hulk of a person.
I’ve gotten nothing but support from new friends and fans out there, and I thank you very much for taking this journey with me and not turning your noses down. You’ve seen that there is more to me than just a raging alcoholic.
If you or someone you know has a problem with alcohol, drugs, etc., I hope that you will seek help like I did. It’s very hard to admit you have a problem, but just remember that if I can do it on NATIONAL TV, you should be able to confide in a friend or family member and get the help you need.
Thank you so much and I love you all so deeply.
Joey