It takes a big person to admit he has big problems, and that’s what Joey started to do on tonight’s episode of Real World: Hollywood. It’s been a while since those intense moments were shot, but Joey still remembers them clearly… except now, with a little distance, he’s gained perspective and a better understanding of how things started to unravel so quickly…
Before coming to the Real World, I battled and WON my war with addiction…. or so I thought. I cleaned up my act and was ready for Hollywood, with a stronger mind, body, and heart. I was set to take Hollywood by storm.
I did not take into consideration, however, that the Real World environment is somewhat of a “lockdown” situation. And the other six strangers on lockdown with me just so happened to LOVE partying. That whole party scene was something I had worked very hard get away from in my previous life in Chicago.
At the start of the Real World experience, it seemed as if I could handle the awkwardness of living out of my element. But soon, the CONSTANT pressure to party, the stress of being away from friends and family members, the CLASHING EGOS inside the house, and my persistent need for perfection got the best of me. I crumbled underneath it all.
With Brianna, I didn’t really see a “relationship” happening with us — she was just someone who could relate to me and understand where I was coming from, given her past history of substance abuse. When Brianna appeared to begin disliking me and replacing me with guys like Jo Jo, it hurt me feelings, my pride and my heart.
All of this just blew up and brought back the “Monster” — the thing I refer to that lives deep inside me, and probably deep inside everyone.
Working out, running, boxing, hittin’ the bag, etc. have always been ways for me to vent my anger and my addictions; and in a NORMAL setting, it does work (and has in the past).
I ask that people please do not judge until you watch the entire season. I want you to witness the evolution of a man with addiction and problems. And while you’re watching, ask yourselves this: Are you perfect? Do you not have problems?
Thank you and have a great day! ‘Til next time…
Joey Kovar
It isn't easy sometimes when people don't understand where your comming from. Keep doing what keeps you grounded. I get lost sometimes about life.
Take care, and Good Luck to you~
Your more than just a pretty face~
Christopher
Every time I see you on this show, I want to write to you. I think you are an incredible, beautiful, genuine guy with a heart of gold and a lot of class/maturity. You have so much going for you. Every time I see the show, I want to take you under my wing. I was glad to read your blog, and to see that you have so much insight into yourself and your situation. I think your analysis is spot on. I have no idea what will happen with you in future episodes, but I so very much hope that you don't self-destruct. It is not worth it. You have too much going for you. I feel like you are the bigger man for so bravely and honestly facing your problems and not succombing to the peer pressure. Perhaps you have put yourself in a situation that is not the best for you, but I hope you are able to stay strong and believe in yourself, and to know that there are many people out there who admire and respect you and your integrity. Peace. And keep smiling (you have a great smile!)
Do not worry about people judging you. You cannot control what people do and unfortunately, there are many of unenlightened and misguided souls who love to do that and much worse. Focus on loving yourself and loving others and these types of issues will no longer have an influence on your happiness. I wish you the best in life. You have a good heart and I hope that you develop the endurance necessary to conserve it. The career path you have chosen will eat away at the most beautiful things inside of you. Therefore, take this period in your life to strengthen yourself spiritually and emotionally in preparation for the bright future in the entertainment industry.
hugs,
Maria B.
24, Miami, FL. ^_^
i come from a family that suffers from alcohol problems... so i understand what your feeling.
everyone's got problems, yours are just displayed on national tv... i hope as the season goes on i see youve overcome this.
your amazing .. & fine as helll.
best wishes.
I don't know, but I just felt the need to let you know that you can still back away from the drinking. I know it takes alot of self control but you can have fun without it. You seem to have an awesome personality and I believe you can have a good time even if you don't consume alcohol.
Joey, believe in yourself and believe those words you yourself said.
If you don't like the person you become when you drink and others don't either, then re-evaluate why you choose to drink.
Okay, so i think i've said more than what I wanted to. I just hope that you'll think of yourself and show everyone that you're strong and will battle this once and for all. Remember, there is nothing wrong with asking for help from your friends.
Take care cutie... :)
It took me a while to look at myself in the mirror and see the person i had become. Thank God i did, otherwise i really dont know were i would be today. It is a constant battle that you can and will overcome if you truly want to. You are the reason i continue to watch, i'm rooting for you!
Although the entire season has not ended yet for anyone to judge you for who you are, it seems that you're fans has already admire you're struggles to stop drinking.
It definitely takes a lot for someone to actually "take action" and give up a habit that they've been addicted to for many years... especially, like you said, when you're pretty much in a locked down situation in city that consist of just parties, drugs, and alcohol. For you, Joey, you've done a pretty good job locking yourself away from going back to the partying phase.... well, at least in the episodes so far.
You're roommates definitely was no help at all, at the beginning, to help you accomplish your goal of stop drinking for good, but later coped with you about it. I believed too that if you really are committed to doing something, in this case avoiding the situation of bringing the devil of you back to life when you drink, then you should be able to do it with no questions asked. It's hard, but it can be done right? And Brianna, I thought, was probably the one out of all people there that would actually help you through this situation because although they're might have not been a connection of a relationship between you two, she would probably understand you most because both of you have an addiction problem in the past......BUT however, she doesn't understand the value of your friendship with her and takes it for granted. But you're definitely right, "There's other fishes in the sea" and you're also very handsome who definitely deserve someone way better than Brianna.
Lol, the last episode that was played was actually the one where Brianna states how you work out like 8 million hours a day and you only cared about yourself. Was she trying to be humorous? Lol, that was very immature of her to dislike you for being a mature man who got other things on his mind rather than partying and drinking. Seriously, if she was about your age then whoa, it sure seem like you'll get farther in life than she would, lol. But anyways, back to that comment she made.... normal people work out to keep themselves health, go to work and make money, and keep themselves occupied and away from the childish 19 age drinking and partying life. Lol, what's wrong with that? Am I wrong?
Thanks for listening,
Tina-
You should be proud of yourself for trying to stay clean and healthy. I know it isnt easy at all. I started drinking and smoking weed at 16, and by the time I was 18 I was using coke and ex on a regular basis. I found that I had to find a group of new friends and could not even keep in contact with my "drug" friends otherwise I would relapse. I am 24 now and have not touched any sort of drug in 4 years now. I just wanted to share my story to show you there is hope! You are a beautiful, sweet, sensitive man and I wish you all the best. When you were crying I just wanted to hug you and tell you I have been in the same place as you....
Anastasia
much love,
Isabel
-jeremy
i just wanna say how much respect i have for you and for you to admit that u have a problem and how you have been able to overcome it..and for yout to admit to your roomates you have a problem early on well that takes A MAN TO ADMIT EARLY ON...my dad had a terrible acohol problem and for you to admit you have a problem which he wasn't able to overcome just gives me alot of respect for you..i am very sorry that Brianna played you and it wasn't fair...you'll find the right girl....everything will work out...i'll keep u in my prayers for u to continue to be able to overcome your problems..
how r u?
Well Joeyy. I think you iss sexyy.
But like you just should stop drinkingg.
It's hurtingg you and everyone else in dha
house. I am not goingg through the same thingg.
But i said that i would kiill myself. i was cryingg on that episode because it touched me like seriouslyy. My dad dont care bout me. I just hope you for the best and i love you lotss.
--> Laurin
i definately sympathize with you. i love going out and hanging with my friends, but especially in the college atmosphere, its hard to escape from alcohol and social pressures.
i am recently single because of my inability to control my drinking at times... a lot of the time I turn to alcohol as a way to relax myself in tense situations but it always ends up in me being out of control and yelling and being verbally abusive. i see a lot of myself in you. i would really love to contact you someway and talk to you. i really admire you as a person from the few episodes of real world I have seen.
Take care joey,
~Erica~
You are an interesting guy. I commend you on trying to maintain sobriety. I do think, however, that your demons have not diminished with your addiction. It is clear that you have major issues regarding your masculinity and feeling "like a man". The last episode where Brianna said that you are too self-absorbed with your working out was kind of right on target. You think that having muscles makes you a man, but that is a lie. I know because I was obsessed with weightlifting and took lots of steroids to look all buffed up and want to be noticed as the biggst guy in the room. I see you in the same boat. The problem is that it is so pathetic to have that be the thing that gives you self-esteem. You mentioned being beaten. I'm sure you don't have a good relationship with your father. Guys like us usually don't. If you did, you wouldn't feel the need to compensate for the lack of a positive male role model by building your body. One day your muscles will disappear, and unless you have other things defining you, you will feel a void. You seem like a nice guy, but you are also narcissistic. You want to be the center of attention. You want to be admired, not even by women, but by men who you want to feel bigger, more pwerful than. It gives you a sense of control. You come across to me as a wounded guy who is still healing the scars of an abusive past. You can tell I have been in therapy. ANd it has really helped me beat my addictions and body image issues. It started when I read the book "The Adonis Complex". It changed my life. I highly suggest you read it. I think you will see much of yourself in the pages. I saw one of the doctors speak and he was great and really spoke to me. Good luck in your journey Joey. Don't let your past continue to haunt you. You are no longer a victim.
I'm sorry to hear about the addiction but happy are you getting help. I myself had an addiction issue. But i pulled myself out of it. It was the best decision of my LIFE!! You seem like a GREAT guy and you can better your life by getting over this addiction. I havent had the best childhood either but you have to focus on the future not the past!! I hope everything works out for you for sure!! What doesnt kill you, makes you STRONGER!! And you look pretty strong...he he Take care
Everyone has problems, your not the only one in this world. Your an intellegent, caring, great person, with a heart of gold, from what I can see, so far, and you that have a lot to offer to this world. Please do not do anything stupid like suicide. There is help out there for people with every kind of problems. You are a good guy, and it shows. You will in time find that right relationship, and it will bring out a whole new world for you too see.
So, PLEASE hang in there buddy. You are a man with integrity, and good values. Please never ever hurt yourself. What I found out that helped me was, I had to admit to myself that I had a problem, and I just had to admit to myself that I needed help, and went and got it. It doesn't mean that your weak or anything like that to ask for help. It's the mature thing to do.
All my best for you Joey. I wish you good things in your life. Just pray and keep your grandparents in your life, and know that there are people out there that care for you.
Hang in there, things will get better. I promise you that!
Dennis
i hope you do good for yourself
I have been watching your progress and I can see some very big similarities in you that I see in my husband. I have commented on it to him and he just doesn't see it. Well that is because when he is acting like the "monster" he is not able to remember any of the BS because he is drunk.
My husband is a depressed person, he drinks to feel better to "numb" himself. I pray that tonight after he watches this episode he really relates to you. And I also pray for the sake of my 2 kids that he realizes that the "monster" persona is not cool and no one should have to grow up around that.
:hugs: to you and I am so happy you took the help. I have been a big fan of Dr. Drew since many moons ago, and I hope he was able to help guide you into a strong, healthier and happy place.
I hope you actually read this. I watched you melt down last night and saw my boyfriend in you. We have gone through exactly what happened to you. He is an alchoholic/drug addict. He tried to commit suicide 1 year ago today. We were fortunate to receive excellent care for him. He has begun to take Vivitrol. It is a monthly injection that prevents alcohol from having any effect on the body. He feels no "buzz" and the biggest relief is that it also takes away the "craving" that you mentioned. I/we would love to speak with you and show you that there is a life worth living, free of abuse and that you are definitely not alone. I recommend that you speak to your doctor or therapist. It really does work and he feels like there is finally hope. GOOD LUCK!!
Not only are you very hot, but it really takes a big man to admit you have a problem and to get help for it. Good luck Joey
Greetings from Estonia!
So you made me cry when i watched your episode before you went to rehab. I'm glad that you decided to get help. I think alot of people in this world have drinking problems and addictions. I never realized that i had a problem till i was driving home drunk from the bar and hit a concret wall at 40 mph. I was lucky i walked away not hurt but i went to jail for the first time in my life i couldn't belive it and then the realization that i could lose my son. I cried the whole time i was in jail and now i'm on probation. It kinda sucks but i'm glad i can't drink because i feel so much better and you will to soon. Your a strong man to fight your demonds cause there's so many that won't. I lost my kids dad to it cause he couldn't be that man. Hang in there i'm sure you'll have alot of suport from your roomates.