It takes a big person to admit he has big problems, and that’s what Joey started to do on tonight’s episode of Real World: Hollywood. It’s been a while since those intense moments were shot, but Joey still remembers them clearly… except now, with a little distance, he’s gained perspective and a better understanding of how things started to unravel so quickly…

Before coming to the Real World, I battled and WON my war with addiction…. or so I thought. I cleaned up my act and was ready for Hollywood, with a stronger mind, body, and heart. I was set to take Hollywood by storm.

I did not take into consideration, however, that the Real World environment is somewhat of a “lockdown” situation. And the other six strangers on lockdown with me just so happened to LOVE partying. That whole party scene was something I had worked very hard get away from in my previous life in Chicago.

At the start of the Real World experience, it seemed as if I could handle the awkwardness of living out of my element. But soon, the CONSTANT pressure to party, the stress of being away from friends and family members, the CLASHING EGOS inside the house, and my persistent need for perfection got the best of me. I crumbled underneath it all.

With Brianna, I didn’t really see a “relationship” happening with us — she was just someone who could relate to me and understand where I was coming from, given her past history of substance abuse. When Brianna appeared to begin disliking me and replacing me with guys like Jo Jo, it hurt me feelings, my pride and my heart.

All of this just blew up and brought back the “Monster” — the thing I refer to that lives deep inside me, and probably deep inside everyone.

Working out, running, boxing, hittin’ the bag, etc. have always been ways for me to vent my anger and my addictions; and in a NORMAL setting, it does work (and has in the past).

I ask that people please do not judge until you watch the entire season. I want you to witness the evolution of a man with addiction and problems. And while you’re watching, ask yourselves this: Are you perfect? Do you not have problems?

Thank you and have a great day! ‘Til next time…
Joey Kovar