The Meat: It’s My Birthday, Ruf

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A special message from Meaty the dog:

My Super Sweet 14th Birthday Party at Sky Bark was da bomb. Everyone who’s anyone was there, including Dick Van Patton, the dad from Eight Is Enough who now makes my food (to be honest, I like the taste of Mini Horse doo-doo much better).

Don’t tell Rob, but when he was putting the birthday candles on my cake, I snuck off to bone that cocker spaniel with the cute ass (you know the one… pink bow, seductive stare). Don’t worry, she’s on the pill.

Rob is the man (literally, I’m the dog) for throwing me such a rager. I really hope those poodles got home OK… talk about sloppy drunks.

Hope to see you next year at my 21st. Dude, I’m almost legal.