So here’s what we learned about Parisian men last night:

They don’t wear undershirts. Nor do they wax.
They don’t play hard to get — you can walk out of the club without saying goodbye and they’ll run right after you, begging for a kiss.
They can say the word “darling” without completely emasculating themselves.
Their definition of an “escort” does not include prostitution.
They are not afraid to be fashionable.
Their idea of fashionable is questionable.
They think Vespas are appropriate modes of transportation for a first date.
They will all have emphysema before age 50.