Poor Domenico. He was taunted and tortured by the other contestants, but through it all he managed to walk away with Tila and the gang’s respect and his own MTV show. Last week Amanda and her “girls” pulled ahead of Dani on the lesbian front, and it’s beginning to look like A Shot At Love is Bobby’s game to lose for the boys.
The remaining four contestants are packing their bags. TT is going to travel across the country to visit the gang’s hometowns and meet with their parents. My sympathies go to them all. Bobby is nervous because unlike Ryan, he doesn’t come from money and can’t impress TT. Amanda is also scared because she has six special needs brothers and sisters. “It’s going to be intense.â€
First stop, Worchester, NY to visit Bobby. He meets her at the local bowling lanes so she can spend a day in his shoes (get it, he means bowling shoes). She’s a city girl in the country and she can’t wait to see where he grew up. On the lanes Bobby was going to give her a blue ball (get it, blue balls), and she’s really bad at bowling. I’m sure there’s an metaphor about gutter balls and reality TV shows somewhere that I’m missing.
TT and Bobby go to meet his, dad, mom, brother, step dad, and step mom. TT admits to being bisexual to his family almost right off the bat, and they’re somewhat shocked. Granted, admitting to bisexuality isn’t the easiest topic to breach in casual dinner conversation. At dinner, TT gets frisky with Bobby’s brother by getting whipped cream on her funbags and asking him to wipe it off. Mom was decidedly NOT IMPRESSED, and after a few drinks she walks away from the table. TT went to talk to her, and after their one-on-one they discovered that they’d be good ol’ fashioned bar snakes if they were the same age. Bobby is happy that mom sees a lot of him in TT…and he’d like to see himself in TT (Get it?!). Jokes definitely aren’t subtle in upstate New York.
Now it’s off to Pacific City, Oregon to visit Amanda. She meets TT on the beach, and even though I’m not a nature person, I have to say that the Oregon beach is stunning. It looks a little like the beach in The Goonies. Oh, wow, I just read that The Goonies was shot in Oregon.
After a quick round of kite flying, the two lay on beach towels and talk. We learn that Amanda had drug problems all throughout high school but moved on. TT was impressed to learn that Amanda is more than just fun and games. They walk up to meet Amanda’s parents at a picnic table overlooking the coast. In the picnic basket is a virgin drink, and TT laughs that she’s definitely no virgin. With a loud, over-the-top lesbian daughter like Amanda and six special needs childrens, Amanda’s parents aren’t even remotely phased by TT. Amanda talks to her dad about TT. “She’s perky!â€
Later TT visits Amanda’s brothers and sisters. I’m not going to lie, special needs children make me uncomfortable, and I give high praise to TT for displaying grace and humor when interacting with them. Amanda is very happy. “If you can do that you can handle anything.â€
Now it’s time for the exotic locale of…Trenton, New Jersey, home of Ryan! Ryan wants TT to meet his friends at a local Asian restaurant. They’re definitely “dudes,†and react as such when they find out that TT is a bisexual. Their rowdy straight boy behavior is tempered when they think about her meeting Ryan’s parents. His father is a hard-nosed man who worked his way to the top of a multimillion dollar company. As one friend said, he might just say “bye bi†to TT.
Ryan drives TT to a gigantic house on a huge property. Not to belabor the point, but his parent’s house is HUGE. Ryan’s sister quickly embraces him, and TT is more attracted to his sister than to him. It’s true, Lauren looks like a straight version of Amanda with all the rough edges smoothed out. She awkwardly admits that TT is “exotic..in many different ways.â€
In front of the family’s pool TT admits to being Bisexual. Ryan’s family says “Ok,†but they’re eyes say “Jeeves, please escort this bisexual off our property.†TT catches the parents catching themselves being impolite. Seeing how she reacted to Bobby’s humble upbringing, I can tell right now that Ryan is being voted off tonight.
At dinner TT jokes with them about being bisexual and about Ryan’s body. She tells Lauren she’ll be gay sooner than she thinks, and she prays before dinner to thank God for Ryan’s hot family. “We don’t usually talk about nipples at our dinner table,†says the mom. The parents hide their horror well throughout dinner, and dad is impressed that TT worked her way from the bottom just like he did. Before dinner is even finished, Ryan takes TT on “a tour†of the house, which means he’s hooking up with her while his parents are downstairs. HOT! TT leaves the Ryan’s house, and I’m curious about the conversation his family will have later that night.
New Jersey was fun wasn’t it? TT’s final visit is in South Florida to visit Dani. She starts at Dani’s firehouse, which is Dani’s home away from home. The firemen are all crushing on TT, and titalated when she “works the fire pole.†At the house’s spaghetti dinner, the men are defensive of Dani. TT says off camera that she was touched when they told her that, “It’s an honor for you to have Dani in my life…You dump her, you’re dumping all of us.†Dani is charmingly embarrassed by the guy’s display of affection.
Now it’s time for TT to meet Dani’s mom, Grandmother, aunt, and two cousins. Dani’s cousin Michael recognized TT. “It’s freakin’ Tila Tequila!†Dani sits down with her family and has the first open conversation with them about her own sexuality. This seemingly uncomfortable situation was made better by Dani’s completely accepting family. “I wasn’t born yesterday,†said grandma. LOL. Speaking of grandma, I love her. She’s the sassy grandma that we see in movies, while our own grandparents suffer away in nursing homes. She asks TT to bounce on her knee, and TT pulls out the lap dance. Granny loves it! Off camera, Granny gets serious about her love for Dani. “I don’t want to be judged…I just want what’s best for her. If that’s what she chooses, than I’m with her all the way.â€
That was such a great trip across America, but now we’re back in California. The gang all arrives back at the Shot At Love house and are shocked that they’re glad to be back. On the upside, it looks like the one sheet for the bed was washed while they were away. They all go out back to the pool and recount their days with TT, and they all think they’re going to win.
It’s elimination time, and one person will go home. First Bobby is called, which, duh. Second is Dani, and I will be the first to admit that I never thought she had a chance to make it this far. That leaves Amanda and Ryan, but two boobs will always win over one boob from New Jersey, and Amanda wins. He’s upset, but he’s going to take what he learned and, I don’t know, put it to use in New Jersey.
“Are you guys up for a vacation,†TT shouts. The last three contestants are going to Mexico. Well, they’re going to Cancun, so really it’s Mexico-lite. Also, MTV, you need to give Dani’s Granny a show stat!
she is so incredibly gorgeous & seems to be the sweetest girl ever!
Tila would have to be crazy not to pick a girl like her.
If tila dont pick her... id sure like to have her!
id keep her forever!
-livvie
oh...and danis mom is the best..my grandma would have got up and left if i did something like that.lol.someone like dani could probabl turn me gay.lol.hehe
ANNA
but since tila picked bobby i dont like tila at all
she made the biggest mistake in her life and she will soon find that out
i hate tila now
She's been straight this whole time, a fake bisexual stringing lesbians along.
BOBBY WON !
i knew from the beginning she'd pick him.
Dani- Keep your head up girl. There is someone out there who's perfect for you. You thought it was Tila, but it wasn't meant to be. You'll see.
Dani, I hope this world gives you the abundance of love and happiness that you so richly deserve!
On the other hand..I'm completely happy for Tila..if Bobby is where her heart is..then so be it...we aren't here to make decisions for her. ALTHOUGH...I wish we could..cause the ending would have been different!
Anyhow.....Tila I hope everything in your life stays good!
*LOVE YA DANI*
One thing is for sure....TILA is confused!!