Where to begin? After eating raw, dead cows, Bobby was given a one-on-one date with Tila, confirming that he will in fact be the winner of A Shot At Love. Maybe I’m wrong; maybe their attraction is all a red herring. Anyway, at elimination Steven loses his shot at love, leaving Tila to choose between Brandi and Vanessa. Brandi is given the key, but Vanessa doesn’t leave without a fight…an actual drag ‘em down, bust ‘em up fight with Brandi. Vanessa is carried away and Brandi is left weeping to Tila that she just can’t do this anymore. Now is the continuation of the cat fight to end all cat fights.

The fight happened quickly, but it was a swift enough kick in the head to Brandi for her to want to leave. TT is upset because Brandi’s leaving means that she picked the wrong person at elimination. TT is crying, but her tears are no match for lesbian resolve and Brandi leaves. Domenico is surprised that Brandi was so weak, and Bobby correctly pointed out that “In the end Vanessa won.” TT addressed the five remaining contestants to put the night behind them, and they have a group.

With a very Twin Peaks opening, Amanda wakes up to the dawn of a new competition. Brandi, her biggest lesbian competition is out, as opposed to Dani, the biggest lesbian. The group reads TT’s message in a bottle asking someone who can lay it on thick and get it on quick. The group walks outside in bathing suits to see TT in a lifeguard chair overlooking a pool of chocolate. Whoa, I just got a Willie Wonka flashback (and no, not that new lame one with Johnny Depp).

Dom is wearing a thong. You know, this reminds me of the first time I saw topless women on a beach in Europe. A nude beach sounds titillating until you realize that ugly people are the only ones nude.

For this challenge the gang has to roll around in the choco-pool, run back to a bucket, and squeeze as much of the chocolate off them as possible. The contestant with the heaviest chocolate bucket in five minutes wins a one-on-one date with TT; the remaining 4 will be split up into two dates of two. “Are you ready to get sticky?” Word of advice: if anyone asks you that question on a first date, run far far away. Trust me.

This competition is being set up as Amanda vs. Bobby. Amanda has the D cups and hair to hold the chocolate and Bobby has pure strength of will. They begin, and TT is getting strangely aroused by watching them slip and slide. Me too, actually. When it’s over, we find out that the dates will help TT decide whose family she will be visiting very soon. Wait, what? TT is going to everyone’s hometowns? It’s going to be just like Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner except with a bisexual Vietnamese myspace celebrity. OK, maybe it’s nothing like that movie. It’s probably more like this.

So Ryan is first with a 50 lb. bucket. Amanda is next with 60, followed by Dom with 41, Dani with 57, and Bobby with 63. Bobby wins, and he wins another one-on-one date with TT. TT then decides to jump in the pool with the gang to show that she can get down and dirty too. They have a blast, and I’m really beginning to think this show is about making friends, rather than winning a date.

Everyone’s egos are a little bruised now that Bobby has won again. For their date, TT sets up a romantic sushi dinner next to a fireplace, and Bobby has never used chopsticks before. Someone should tell him that it’s actually considered acceptable to use your hands while eating sushi. TT teaches him how to use them. She’s attracted to his innocence, and “wants to open his eyes to a whole new world.” He tells her that his mom will accept her no matter what, he admits to still crushing on her, and they make out.

Now its time for the losers dates. The first one is with Ryan and Dani. Ryan tells TT about his family – parents are still together, two sisters, and a hard working dad. He says they’d accept her if she came home with him. Dani is an only child, and she says that her parents would love TT. Of course a lesbian’s mom would be OK with a bisexual girlfriend. In fact, I bet some parents would hope this is the first step back into being straight, which in Dani’s case may be as likely as Sway being caught in a sex tape scandal with Kurt Loder. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Ok, I apologize because at this point my roommate is freaking out that he lost his iphone, and I miss what Dani is saying. Then all of a sudden I see her and TT eating grapes and making out together. Ryan cuts in, and Dani gives an aggressive, undermining speech about why Ryan is wrong for TT. She says he’s aggressive, and he defends himself…uh, aggressively. TT says she connects differently with each of them, which is her nice way of say “Shut it!”

Next date is Amanda and Dom, and Amanda is right that Dom is the perfect person to threesome date with because she looks so much cooler by comparison. Dom is still in his Italy Speedos, and he admits that he’s had 50 partners. I don’t doubt this; American women are suckers for that accent. He also says that he has a traditional Italian family who probably wouldn’t accept TT. Now we all know who’s going home tonight. Amanda on the other hand says that her mom is raw, over the top, and ridiculous (Just like her). She also says that she has 6 special needs brothers and sisters, and this fact makes me love Amanda all the more.

The next day the gang is sitting around the kitchen talking about their dates. They’re chit chatting about the previous night, and we see a shot of Brandi walking up the steep hill to TT Manor. Dani answers the door and is excited to see Brandi. TT goes downstairs, and Dani tells the news to the gang. Amanda is pissed, not because she doesn’t like Brandi, but because now she knows her competition is back. I wonder if Amanda and Brandi ever bonded over the foster child connection. I bet they’d have a lot to say to one another. They also both work in real estate. Actually, maybe Amanda and Brandi should start dating.

TT and Brandi embrace, and Brandi is bawling. TT understands that Brandi is upset and shocked from the fight, but that you can’t back down when life gets hard. Brandi cries that, “It’s a scary thing when you’re not used to being loved.” This part breaks my heart, and I know that Brandi probably had a really hard life in foster care. And then Alicia Keys’ “Falling” plays in the background and I’m temporarily distracted because I just can’t help singing along.

Sadly for Brandi, as much as TT wants to take her back, she has to think about the other contestants who HAVEN’T left. Remember, Bobby’s fight that sent him to the hospital? Brandi understands and leaves. Bye Brandi!

Back at the house, Dani is staunchly defending Brandi. It’s sweet at first, because she says she doesn’t’ want Brandi leaving for the wrong reason, but her defense is so vehement that it begs the question: If Brandi is so great, than why would TT choose you? Needless to say, Amanda is very happy that Brandi is gone for good.

The group all goes outside to swim. TT and Amanda are palling around in the pool, while Dani and Dom bond poolside. She says that she wants to take him home to meet her family. Like I said, I think this show is more about making friends than getting a date. TT thanks them all for hanging out and they prepare for elimination.

At elimination, everyone is confident that they’re staying. Four keys remain, so only one person is going home this week, and given that there are 3 men it’s probably Dom. Yep, Amanda and Dani are called first. Bobby is chosen next, leaving Ryan and Dom. TT says that Ryan is Mr. touch guy around the gang, but is sweet and sensitive around her. She’s looking forward to meeting his family and he is still in the game.

TT sincerely loves Dom. She tells him that when he meets the girl of his dreams, to keep her away from TT because she will be very jealous. Dom’s departure was very emotional, and the two boys start crying. Bros B4 Hos. Dom tells TT to give him a call if she has a problem with the remaining four. They’re all sad to see him go, and I’m getting a little choked up at the friendships that are being made on this show. We all loved Domenico. All of us! But now, we must say Ciao!