OMG My Super Sweet 16 is back, and we are cordially invited to Makahla’s sweet 16! Makahla is funny, outgoing, and definitely likes to have a good time. She lives in Columbus, Ohio, her dad owns a ranch, she loves riding horses, and she models in New York. She tells us that everyone says that there’s nothing to do in the midwest, and speaking as one who grew up in Ohio, I’d say everyone is pretty spot-on…

Her super sweet 16 is going to be a Western Glam theme, because she wants to bring out the two personalities of Makahla: glamorous and cowgirl.

The venue appears to be just a barn, but Makahla sees glitter of Broadway. She wants dancers, sets, and anything that has to do with western themes. Do you think that includes Brokeback Mountain? Her dad is confused. “What ever happened to birthday cake?” he asks.

Makahla’s super sweet 16 invitations are horseshoes, and she’s going to deliver them to her friends via lasso. Apparently the glamorous side of Makahla is out in full force today, because she looks like she’s never picked up a rope in her life. Her friends are excited to be invited to her party and they all get thrown into a pool.

After the invites, Makahla and her parents go Hummer shopping. She picks what I’m assuming is the most expensive one and takes it for a spin. Dad is nervous about her driving, and for good reason. In that brief test ride, she rose in the wrong lane and drove over a curb. Dad says he’ll have to talk it over with mom, but anyone who’s seen this show before knows that this won’t be the last time we see this car.

Yee-Hot! It’s time to pick the cowboys who will escort Makahla to her party. They are being judge on things like personality, smile, and “uniqueness,” but during the auditions it seems like having good abs is a good enough substitute for all of the above.

So seeing these models has made me realize that I’ve lived in the east coast for too long; I completely forgot what a true corn-fed country boy looks like. After seeing the model judging, I wanted to move back to Ohio for split second. That second ended when a fat man in overalls and busted teeth walks into the room. He’s totally a plant, but this knowledge still doesn’t shield me from the horror that is his right boob, which will give me nightmare for the next 3 weeks.

Makahla is doing a photo shoot with her friends for a calendar that will be handed out at the party. At the shoot she’s wearing red cowgirl boots – just like Lori Singer in Footloose. There’s a really awkward scene where her mom is stage-momming Makahla to open up her shirt and show her bra. Makahla is so not having it. Good for you, girl! Save that kind of behavior for freshman year in college after a night of Long Island Iced Teas.

Rascal Flatts is her favorite band, and Dad got her backstage passes to hang out with the band. The band seems like good ol’ boys and they give her some keys. Do you know what they’re for? That’s right, the Hummer that we saw earlier! See, I told you we’d see it again.

At the concert, Rascal Flatts brings Makahla on stage and she’s embarrassed. Let me clarify, she’s embarrassed to be on stage, not to be at the Rascal Flatts show in general which she should be. Actually, so should the 30,000 people who were at the show too.

The next day her dad walks into her room and accidentally wakes her up. It’s really cute. Getting ready for the party she gets phone call after phone call after phone call from party crashers. Remember kids, when you’re throwing a party it’s best to have someone else man the phones.

She says that party is going to be the sickest party ever. When did Ohioans start saying “sick.” The guests start to arrive, and they’re a more Hee Haw country than glam: lots of plaid, checker prints, cowboy hats, and John Deere paraphernalia.

After the model cowboys are instructed to do lots of “yee hawing,” the birthday procession begins. Makahla is dressed like a candy striper cowboy, and she’s riding on horse. The rest of the crew comes in on a hayride.

Inside the party, there really does seem to be a Brokeback theme. All I can see are shirtless men, mechanical bulls, ice sculptures, and neon lights. Makahla dances a hip hop routine for her friends, and girl’s got some chops. She’s not the best, but she’s pretty good. One of her Brokeback friend squeals, “She’s like Justin Timberlake!!!!!”

Special guest performing Jessica Andrews leads the crowd in a sing-a-long, but then calls Makahla on the stage for surprise. A man comes onstage and tells her that her cowgirl picture will be in a national campaign for Teen Vogue in the October edition. It’s definitely a dream of a lifetime for one blogger.

Her friends had a blast, and say it was “Hands down the best party in Ohio.” Not necessarily the best comparison, but still, Makahla had a good time and she showed everyone just how glamorous country can be. Of course, some could argue that this woman did that 30 years ago.