My first thought. Who is this dude Kevin Hart?
Before anyone can actually think it over.. Instant gratification kicks in, Perez Hilton is up on the mic and he’s ready to rap.

Ok, so what do we call Perez officially for this season? Lucky Charms, Hip Hop Oompa Loompa or Sanjaya of Celebrity Rap Superstar?! Well, I’ll let everyone else decide, both are completely appropriate and he seemed to be welcoming to both names, considering that nature certainly did not give him his hair color…

Jamal Anderson on the other hand does not escape his clothing faux pas unscathed. Even under the tutelage of the infamous Redman, the judges start judging his style. Or lack there of. Big Things Poppin’ except when he popped up in front of Da Brat who warned Jamal that she would be nice since he’s so used to getting hit in the you know where but asks, “Who’s your stylist? Cause you don’t match boo boo!” Ouch! Not quite an oompa loopma though.

Now more surprising than this random criticism of clothing was Kendra Wilkinson’s booty shake! Whoa! Who knew? Admitting that she’s “got hip hop inside her soul” she showed more than her rapping skills. Jamal may not have had the right belt on, but Kendra had the best accessory of the night. The Hef! That’s right! Hugh Hefner himself joined the antics! Her performance ended up being a glorified performance on Say What Karaoke, which for MTV may not be such a bad thing. Having Hef around may have saved her from harsher criticism because no one wants to be disinvited to the Playboy Mansion parties. DMC admired her beauty and she was better as a video girl! Kendra looked none to pleased.

Jason Wahler. Watching Jason Wahler made us realize what kind of father he would be. He made it easy to imagine him at his son’s Bar Mitzfah or something, dancing and embarrassing his kids in front of a crowd of people. Considering how his pockets might be like rabbit ears after proposing to his girlfriend, he might need some shameless promotion to afford his newlywed lifestyle. I couldn’t help but think that he would break out in Weird Al Yankovic’s version “White and Dirty.” But alas, he didn’t even try. DMC ended up saying he’s got the wack street blues and Da Brat exclaimed, “No wonder Lauren dumped your ass…” Another ouch!

Shar Jackson is going to win this thing. For a few reasons:
1) She has to undo the damage K-Fed did to the rap game.
2) Her mentor is MC Lyte, part of hip hop elite.
3) She wants it. You can tell. (Her kids are scared.)

Just when I’ve decided that Shar would win the whole darn thing, Countess Vaughn in equal Moesha fame suddenly enters the stage and proves that she wants it too! Even a little bit more than Shar. Having the impressive Warren G as a mentor I could definitely see her coming out with an album if she keeps up with her hard work.

When Sebastian Bach meets his mentor Kurupt… he says “I haven’t heard of many rappers, but I’ve heard of Kurupt.” Oh Really??? How many of us believe that? I couldn’t help but close my eyes and think that Sebastian Bach sounded just like Kid Rock. The judges are impressed and christen him the Hip Hop Zorro.

If Sebastian Bach is Zorro then Efren Ramirez is the Hip Hop Bull Fighter, cause I was fighting a lot of bull believing that he even tried to rap. Can you say DON’T vote for Pedro? By the way, how long ago was Napoleon Dynamite? Wasn’t that three years ago? All I know that it was long enough for him to grow those luscious locks.

The judges ultimately decide Perez, Shar and Sebastian Bach are all safe from elimination this week.
I can’t wait until next week!! Who are you placing your bets on?